Hair, Babies, and Missionary Activities

Sometimes, being a missionary means doing some odd things.  I guess that doesn't come as a surprise to people who know me... I've been doing odd things for a long time.  Lately, you will find me showing up to work in crazily braided hair on occasion.  It's my way of connecting with a young mother in my neighborhood.  Marjorie comes to my house every so often to braid my hair, and while she does, we talk, get to know each other, and I offer counsel when I can.

Marjorie and I had an interesting conversation the other day.  She noticed my hugely pregnant belly and asked me when the baby was due.  Then she asked me where I was going to have the baby.  When I told her I was planning to go back to the States to give birth, she asked me "Why?"  I suppose that sounds like a fair enough question, until you consider Marjorie's labor and delivery history.  Marjorie's first baby, Ledson, was born just outside my front gate, on the grass of the parking lot.  It was January 13, 2010.  That's the day after the big quake.  The earthquake sent her into labor, and the morning afterwards she came to find someone to help deliver her baby, but we were all in the church building, wading through hoards of injured and dying patients.  So, she just squatted by our front gate and began to push.  Thankfully, there were a few missionary ladies on the compound that were non-medical, so they weren't at the church with the rest of us.  They saw Marjorie in her distress, called for some supplies, and helped deliver Ledson.  He's three years old now, and doing great.  Marjorie's second baby, Samuel, was born at the local hospital.  It's a Doctors Without Borders hospital that was set up after the earthquake.  Most of the "buildings" consist of large tents. The birthing center is a large tent with ten or so beds in a row, separated by nothing but air and screams.  The women who are currently pushing are placed on the beds, while the women who are in active labor but not yet ready to push squat on the floor or walk around the tent in agony.  When Marjorie and her mother arrived at the hospital to give birth, all of the beds were full.  Marjorie joined the laboring, groaning, milling-about crowd until she just couldn't take it any longer.  She told her mother she just had to push, at which point her mother directed her out of the maternity tent and into the medical-surgical tent next store.  They found an empty bed there, and, assisted by no one but her mother, Marjorie gave birth to Samuel.  After he was born, his cries alerted the staff and they came over to scold her profusely for daring to give birth in the medical-surgical tent.  So, when Marjorie asked me why I was going back to the States to have my baby, I thought in my head, "Ledson and Samuel!  That right there is why I'm going Stateside!"  But I tried to answer her more diplomatically.  I explained that there is better neonatal care in the U.S., and since my first baby had some problems breathing after birth, I feel more comfortable giving birth at a hospital that is set up for good emergency care of neonates.  I didn't mention to her that I am also a big fan of epidurals and pain medicine and privacy curtains!  I would appreciate all your prayers that this little guy waits until we are Stateside (we leave March 2nd) to make his appearance.

Tragedy and an Important Question

  On January 11, I met my friends Tim and Mary, along with their group of American medical missionary volunteers, at a gas station near my home.  They were on their way from Port au Prince to Seguin to spend a week giving free medical care to the Haitians in Seguin.  I needed to give them some medicines they had requested, so we met up at the gas station.  Tim and Mary and I hugged, and I spoke briefly with a woman and her husband who were eager to get to Seguin and start setting up the clinic.  We didn't chat long, because they had a long journey to Seguin ahead of them, but they peeked and waved at my kids who were waiting in the car, and then I wished them all a fun week with no "FTA" (fun travel adventures) and a safe journey, and headed home.  Several hours later, I got word that their caravan of four cars had been in an accident.  After some tense moments and phone calls, we finally pieced together a horrible, tragic story.  The fourth car in the caravan had lost control on a steep mountain pass and gone over the edge of a precipitous cliff, killing all aboard, except the driver.  Among those who lost their lives was Mary.  She has two children and a husband at home in the States who have been sending her off with prayers for years on her regular mission trips to Haiti.  The husband and wife duo that I had met at the gas station were also victims and lost their lives.  They leave two children behind.  And the fourth victim was a 24 year old young man whose father was also on the trip, in a different vehicle.  It was this young man's first trip to Haiti.  The driver is a Haitian man who has worked with Tim for some time now and helps to translate during the medical trips.  He was ejected from the vehicle, suffered extensive broken bones and head trauma, but is currently in the hospital and expected to live.
   I visited this driver a few days after the crash.  He was lying in bed, with his head and arm and leg bandaged, but he was lucid and willing to talk to me about what he could remember from the crash.  He told me that the vehicle lost its brakes and that he tried to stop 4 or 5 times but was unable to do so, therefore he had sped past the three other cars in the caravan and tried to take a very sharp turn at high speed, which led to him losing control, crashing through the guard rail, flipping the vehicle, and falling over the edge.  He doesn't know how he survived the fall.  I told him God must have a reason for him to be alive, some purpose left for him on this earth.  Margarethe, who was there with me, began telling him the importance of accepting Christ as Savior and following Him.  We prayed for him and left.  As my mother and I drove back through those mountains on our way home, we saw the site of the accident.  We backtracked from that spot for several miles, pointing out to each other every good place we saw along the way that would have been an acceptable and safe place to stop or even crash a vehicle without brakes.  Places that would have possibly damaged the truck and perhaps a few limbs, but would certainly not have resulted in death.  We asked ourselves why the driver didn't downshift and put on the emergency brake.  And, failing all else, why he didn't crash into the caravan of cars that were in front of him, instead of speeding past them?  Asking these questions only led us to frustration.  And if we were experiencing frustration, I can only imagine what it was like for the passengers in the car in the moments before the accident.
   So, I had to stop asking these questions.  I had to forgive the driver in my heart.  I had to accept that, for some reason, on that particular day, God called four of His servants home.  But there is still one question that I do ask myself, and think it might be an important question for all of us to ask ourselves:  What kind of drivers are we?  Not just actually, but figuratively as well.  As we drive others along the road in our vehicles, do we take responsibility for their safety, to the extent that it's in our control?  And, more figuratively speaking, who are we driving, where are we driving them, and are we taking them there with care?
   I delivered this message to my Haitian patients a few weeks ago, and it was a little simpler to do in Creole, because 'to drive' in Creole (kondwi) also means 'to guide'.  In Creole, you 'kondwi' someone in your car, or you 'kondwi' a blind person, or you 'kondwi' people down a footpath to a certain destination.  So, back to the question:  who are we guiding and are we good guides?  I can think of those in my life that I guide, and who trust me to guide them well:  my children need me to guide them in almost every area.  My patients trust me to guide them to health with the medicines and treatments I choose for them.  My Sunday school students and my Tuesday morning patient crowd trust me to present the gospel to them clearly and accurately.  I am beginning to realize why James says, "Let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment" (James 3:1).
   I pray that the Lord gives us wisdom as we guide those entrusted to us, and that we do it with godly fear.  I pray that the Lord speaks to the driver recuperating in the hospital.  And I pray that Mary, Rita, Jim, and Matt rest in peace and that God grants their families and friends a peace that surpasses understanding.

Children helping Children

The kids at the LaSalle Christian Church of Christianville (kids in our children's church program) have been collecting an offering for the past year or so.  I gave them an incentive that if they arrived at a total of 2000 gourdes (about $50 u.s. dollars) we could do something exciting with the money.  Last month, they arrived at the goal, so I had the teachers pass out little slips of paper for the kids to write down suggestions about what they thought we should do with the offering money.  Here is the break-down of their responses:

1 vote for:   buy a bike that I need
1 vote for:   buy me a laser gun
1 vote for:   buy me a hose
2 votes for:  food (unspecified recipient)
3 votes for:  throw a party for us
19 votes for:  help the poor with it.
    My favorite response in this category was from a little child named Sendy who said "I would like for us to give money to the old people who are hungry, please.  And give to the children without mother and father that are begging in the streets."

So, the votes for help with poor with it won out.  I have a missionary friend here in Haiti, Michelle Meece, who works for an orphanage down the road and has an orphan with cancer.  His name is Wilson and he has been in treatment at a hospital in Port au Prince for the past several months.  He just finished his chemotherapy and Michelle was scheduled to accompany him on his last visit to the hospital, to say goodbye to the other children on the cancer ward and to receive his tickets for a trip to the Dominican for radiation.  I asked Michelle how many other kids were on the ward at any one time, and she said about 12.  So, I decided it would be nice to use the money that our kids gave in their offerings to buy some Christmas presents and treats for the kids in the cancer hospital.  My friend Cici and I spent every last gourd on chocolate bars, juice, cheetos, balls and barbies, and then we printed out a little picture of our children's church kids with a note saying it was in the name of Christ that we sent these treats, and with many prayers for their healing.  Michelle picked up the presents and delivered them with Wilson on their last visit to the cancer ward.  She took the following pictures, and she said that the staff and parents of the children were very surprised and happy to see that it was a group of Haitian children who had sent the gifts.  Oftentimes in Haiti people just assume that any charity must be from a 'blan'...a foreigner.  So it was nice to prove that theory wrong.

          

Where Thieves Break in and Steal

History seems to be repeating itself around here.  It's time for the Habitat for Humanity group of 600 American short term mission workers to invade the Christianville property and work on some houses in the Leogane area.  They visited last year around this time, as well.  Before they come, a group of dedicated Haitians and Irish and American workers prepared the way by leveling the ground where the soccer field used to be, putting up fences and tarps (to keep the visitors in, or the local residents out?), setting up mess halls and tents, and erecting latrines and showers on the old eye clinic property.  They also put up big bright lights that shine into the soccer field and into the street all night.  You would think these lights would deter theft, but last year around this time massive amounts of furniture and other valuables were stolen from our friends, despite the lights and added security.  And this year, just a few weeks ago, thieves broke into Ryan's eye clinic, the dental clinic, and the Christianville church.  They stole medicines and equipment, and they even took brother Fanfan's accordion.  What the men's choir is going to do without their famous accordion was a topic of discussion in church this morning.  The pastor also gave a warning, saying he is certain it must be someone local and that the thefts will not be tolerated.  Not sure if anything will come of it, but the thefts were a bummer, that's for sure.  This makes the fifth time in five years that my husband's clinic has been robbed.  For a man who was currently working with less equipment and space than he started with in Haiti (due to the quake), the robberies just make things all that much worse.  But Ryan has been a real trooper about it.  He just keeps trudging along, replacing what can be replaced, dealing without what can't be.  I am proud of him and his determination to help the poor and sight-deprived here in Haiti, despite all the set backs.

Update on Lifrane and family

I just got a visit from a friend from Seguin who filled me in on some news regarding Marie Lourdes and her children.  She is the woman I blogged about last week.  Apparently, her visit to me was a veiled attempt to get me to take Maudeline as a restavek in my home.  Of course, I would never take a child in who has a loving mom and dad, so when she saw that I was not going along with her plans, she went back to Seguin and immediately turned around and gave Maudeline and Joresse (her seven year old boy) to a friend of hers near Kapotye (about an hour down the mountain, where we used to do mobile medical clinics).  The children were only gone from her for about one week, though, because on Monday she received a call from a Haitian pastor friend with the message that there was a person in Texas willing to pay for all her kids to go to school.  This person was insistent that she bring back Lifrane, Maudeline, and Joresse into her home.  So, she did.  My friend from Seguin who was recounting this story to me was a bit frustrated.  He said that the three kids came back very clean, with nice clothes and "round faces".  He said they looked like they had each grown an inch.  He was frustrated that they were back with their mother and father who rarely feed or bathe them.  I asked him, "Were they happy to be back with their family?", and he reluctantly replied, "Yes, they were very happy.... happy to roam the fields and be dirty all day again!"  So, there you have it.  Marie Lourdes is reunited with all her children.  No more tears for the time being.  Although, getting them registered for school at such a late date may prove problematic.....

A Visit and A Moral Dilemma

A couple weekends ago, Ryan and I got a visit from a familiar face.... Marie Lourdes.  She was my neighbor in Seguin.  This is not the first time she has suddenly appeared at our doorstep.  Two years ago, Marie Lourdes and her husband surprised us on Easter and asked that we take her immediately to the hospital because she was so sick.  Last year, she and her husband showed up again, this time even sicker and in need of emergency surgery.  She got the surgery, so this year, when she showed up unexpectedly, she was healthy and smiling and was accompanied by her oldest daughter, Maudeline.

There are a few things that happen to us with every visit we get from a Haitian who has travelled far to see us.  The first thing that happens is that we are presented with a sack full of produce.  Marie Lourdes was no exception.  Even though she and her husband have lost their jobs this past year and lost their crops and livestock in Tropical Storm Isaac, she borrowed money in order to bring me a sack full of potatoes.  She mourned the loss of another sack full of peas and yams that she had bought, but which was subsequently stolen from her on the tap-tap ride over the mountains.  She was sad because she knew I love peas.  I scolded her for borrowing money to bring me a gift and reminded her that she can show up at my house empty handed, then I thanked her and started cooking the potatoes.  I knew she and Maudeline probably hadn't eaten all day, maybe not in two days.

The second thing that inevitably happens with our Haitian visitors from parts remote is that, after initial "how are you's" and some general shooting of the breeze, they nestle down into our couches and fall into a deep sleep.  So, while Marie Lourdes and Maudeline caught some z's, I got busy cooking up a meal with the potatoes as well as any protein I could find, and some rice, since I knew a real meal isn't complete here without it.

After bellies were full, Marie Lourdes and I talked about what was new in her life.  She admitted to me that her 14 year old son, Lifrane, is living with a family - strangers to Marie Lourdes - in the town of Peredo, a little more than one hour down the mountain from her by truck.  The family agreed to take him in because they needed help around the house and with their small business.  In exchange, they are putting Lifrane through school this year and giving him food and a place to sleep.  The family was recommended to Marie Lourdes by her cousin and her neighbors, who know the family and say they will be kind to Lifrane.  There is a phrase here in Haiti for a boy or girl who lives in such a situation - Restavek.  It means "live with", and it is by no means an uncommon thing.  In fact, most Haitians that I know, whether from Seguin or the countryside or from Leogane or Port au Prince, either have a restavek in their home, or have given one of their children to someone else as a restavek.  Christians and non-christians alike engage in this practice.  Some people treat their restaveks with kindness and compassion, as they would their own children.  Others treat them with decency but show them little affection at all.  And still others mistreat and abuse the children under their care.  I imagine it's a bit like the foster care system in the States in that regard.  Only this system is not regulated at all and has no safety checks.  At any rate, little Lifrane, who used to knock on my door every day after I finished working (just as I was getting ready for my afternoon nap) and ask for cookies, is now a restavek.

I asked Marie Lourdes if she visits Lifrane.  She said that she visited him once or twice, but that he cried each time she left, and the family requested that she not visit anymore, because it made him too sad, and he wasn't sad if he didn't see her.  I suggested to Marie Lourdes that she visit him anyway, any chance she can get, and make sure he knows that she loves him very much and has not forgotten about him or tossed him aside.

Here is where the moral dilemma comes in.  Marie Lourdes didn't really come to talk to me about Lifrane.  She came to talk to me about Maudeline, and three of her other children (there are eight total,) who cannot go to school this year.  She said, because of the financial troubles they've had, that she and Emmanuel cannot afford to send any of their children to school this year.  Maudeline, the oldest (besides Lifrane and Dyekivle - who quit school long ago), was especially sad about this.  Marie Lourdes told me Maudeline cries at night, begging to go to school.  I know all of Marie Lourdes' children go without food quite frequently, as well.  So, what's better?  To be Maudeline, at home with mom and dad and sisters and brothers, but without daily food or schooling?  Or Lifrane, to be away from mom and dad and siblings, but with a full stomach and a years' worth of school?  I don't know.  I do know this... I can't single-handedly fix the restavek problem in Haiti.  I can't give every family the monetary help they need to keep their kids fed and educated and at home with them.  I can't even give Marie Lourdes all the money she needs to keep her family well fed and educated and all together.  In the end, I gave her what little I could, and hoped she would make whatever decisions she deemed best with it.

Marie Lourdes and Maudeline got showers that night with running water, and slept long on a mattress that must have seemed huge to them.  The next morning I drove them to Port au Prince to find a bus to Jacmel so they could begin their journey home.  I haven't heard whether they made it back safely or not, or what Marie Lourdes decided to do about school for the children, but I hope,whatever happened, that she at least stopped by the house where Lifrane is living to give him a little visit on her way back up the mountain.

Numbers

You've probably all heard the news, but I thought I'd post this video here in case you missed it.
Here are some important numbers in our lives this fall:

September 4 made 11 years for me here in Haiti.  Yikes.

September 7 made 5 years here in Haiti for Ryan.

October 4 will make 4 years of marriage for Ryan and me.

November 6 Titus will turn 2.  Nora is 3.  And I'm 10 weeks along with Baby Price #3 which means...

April 4, 2013 may be another important day for us, since that's the due date.